so damn stress !!

For over a week, I'm so under stress, thinking about the future, changing job, office's situation. I don't want everything falls apart. I mean, I think I'm doing a right thing in explaining what kinda situation I have in my office to someone that I believe would probably do something about it. The problem is my "bule" boss who couldn't be objective and always take on their side, which is quite difficult for me or him maybe to move on for a follow up investigation. Well, I'm not expecting too much for that, but i think it'd be good if he could do it, so they would stop whatever they are doing rite now.

The stress on me doesn't stop there.. I had a big argument with my mom, and I just couldn't believe that she could do that to her own daughter. Instead of giving me a big full of support, she's thinking the other way around. Knowing the fact is quite annoying and it really made me sad, you know. If she was someone else, I couldn't careless about it, but it's my mom, a woman who delivered me to this beautiful yet painful world.

Almost everynite, I slept around 12-1, I just couldn't sleep at all. I lose words, keep sighing all da time. I don't know what to do, I'm confused.. It really affect my ulcer, and my digestive system and eating to me these days is somewhat an obligation instead of eating because I want it to.

In 1,5 hours my life is about to change and I hope that I could stay. In a first place, I never wanna leave the Embassy, but I just have to leave this office, I'm sitting on a hot seat. I wish I could get that job, but if the answer no, thou I'm not prepared, I think I have to accept it and take the outside job. I'm still waiting for a miracle from God, but if I think about my mom, I couldn't compete with her. God will take on her side, I believe that 100%.

This is a difficult situation I face now, a very tough one..

so damn stress !!